I wish someone would write one of those “What to Expect when you’re expecting” for turning 50.

I really wish that someone would write a book on what to expect when you are turning 50 because I think I’m doing it wrong. I don’t feel like I’m fifty. I still feel like I’m in my early forties. Anyone else feel that way? I look at all the latest fashions and think I could definitely rock that. Then my 19-year-old daughter gives me the look. You mothers out there, you know the look. It says everything without uttering a word. It says, oh Mom, how can you be so clueless? You look absolutely stupid in that. I acknowledge the look. I realize I have had an error in judgement and hang my head in shame. Turning back to the dressing room I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and I am shocked to see a middle-aged, slightly overweight woman, with a bit of a double chin looking back at me.

Now, I know some people are perfectly fine with being the age that they are. Not me, I going kicking and screaming because I can’t reconcile who I am on the inside with who I am on the outside. I think, well, if I can lose 20 pounds I’ll feel and look better. Yes, and that would be amazing considering my job is to stare at my computer until words appear on the screen. It doesn’t burn many calories.

Let’s talk about the other elephant in the room, I believe I’m also going through menopause. This is the point in a woman’s life when her emotional state goes from depression to rage, to tears, to screaming at the car in front of you because they are going the speed limit. I’m really glad I don’t own a gun.

Another fun fact of menopause is the weight you gain because your body is not getting estrogen from your ovaries and decides to layer on pounds around your mid-section so the extra fat can provide the estrogen your body needs. Look at most women in their fifties. We all tend to have the same body type. It’s just not fair.

Oh, and while were at it, just exactly what is happening to my hands? Why are my hands turning into these wrinkly old lady hands. People tell me I don’t look my age. What does my age look like? Well I guess we could look at celebrities who are over 50. Sandra Bullock will be turning 50 this year. She certainly doesn’t look like what my mothers decade looked like at 50. Demi Moore, Kate Couric, Christie Brinkley, Dorothy Hamill there actually is quiet a list of celebrities over 50 that look fabulous. Now granted these women have the money to have plastic surgery, so there’s that. But is it is possible for the average woman to continue to look great over 50? I certainly hope so. I’m going to try. But it still comes back to the original question. What is a 50-year-old woman supposed to look and act like? If someone writes the “What to Expect when you’re 50” book let me know. Until then I guess I’ll just have to wing it and if my daughter doesn’t like me dancing around in our living room to “Just get lucky” by Daft punk and singing into a spoon, tough!

Christmas time in New York City

Our first stop, an indoor flea marker in NoHo on Bleecker street. Of course, I could find a flea market open during the week, most are only open on the weekends and are outdoors. Burr, way to cold for outdoor shopping. I think the day we visited the temperature was in the 20’s. 

This market feature vintage items along with new ones. Artists sold painting and custom made shirts. I bought one of each, naturally. I love the work this artist sold. It was hard to pick just one from her. Her name is P.J. Cobbs. This is the painting I chose. She was so nice and even signed it for me.

 

After shopping, we went to Rockefeller Center to see the giant Christmas tree. Then a my daughter boyfriend surprised us with tickets to see the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall!

Wow! What a day. The Rockettes Christmas show is fabulous. It is definitely something to put on your bucket list. It was a great day and I am thankful that my daughter and her boyfriend chose to surprise their moms with this special day. I will always remember how much fun I had spending time with them.

 

Interview with Emily Dayton

Suicide is a long-term solution to a short-term problem.

Project Light to Life

Hi all! I want to give a big thank you to Emily Dayton for agreeing to do an interview with me. Emily began a suicide prevention movement, though they are not only a suicide prevention group, with her parents known as You Can NOT Be Replaced. At first, they ordered just 500 wristbands, but at their one year mark, they had over 14,000 wristbands circulating across the country. They run a very inspirational movement, speak at school assemblies, and do so much more. Talk about inspirational! Although September is suicide prevention month, I think that suicide prevention and Emily’s movement are important things to promote at any time of the year because you truly cannot be replaced. Please check out my interview with Emily below:

1. Can you tell me a little bit about the movement that you and your parents started and why?

The movement that my parents and…

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The Wonder Years

After receiving this assignment, I went through my purse, my desk and junk drawer.  I couldn’t find anything to interesting to write about. When suddenly the “To Do List” my oldest daughter left lying on my desk caught my eye. I’m currently having an ongoing, well let’s see, what should I call it? Disagreement; is probably the best way to describe it, with my 18-year-old daughter. A “To Do List”, she left on my desk, not for herself, but for me! It hit me like a bucket of cold water in the face. What kind of insanity is this? When did I become her secretary? She walks around declaring her independence. I know this is a stage that every teen goes through, but I really don’t remember the part of stage where I become her secretary. Anyone else get “To Do Lists” from their teenage children? Maybe it’s just me.

I’m calling this piece “The Wonder Years” because I’m wondering exactly where I went wrong.  I grew up in a lower middle class home. My father worked in an oil refinery and my mother stayed at home. We struggled to make ends meet. You better make sure you shut the windows and turned the lights out at my house. There was no college fund for me. If I wanted to have a fancy wedding, I would have to pay for it.  Growing up I knew I would have to work hard to get what I wanted out of life.

My family has been fortunate.  Our children grew up in a somewhat affluent atmosphere, and yes, I’ll say it, we spoiled them. We also encouraged and stressed that they could be whatever they wanted. We wanted to raise our children differently than then how we had been raised. Although, I still do find myself yelling about shutting windows and turning off lights. Out of love, we told our children they were special. Everyone gets a ribbon, just for participating, trophies for all the children on the team whether they won or lost. By raising our children this way, I believe we set our children’s expectations too high and ultimately, set them up to be unhappy.

This high self-esteem that we were trying to foster in our children has actually back fired. When your child is not accepted at a fancy “name brand” college and has to shockingly, settle, for a local or dare I say it, community college.  They get a nice, big, bitter taste of reality. The world, it seems, doesn’t care how special they are.  You don’t have to go to a big name school in order to get a good job. Try and tell that to a child who you’ve been telling how wonderful they are all their life. I finally told my daughter, after almost 4 months of listening to her complaining about having to go to a local college,

“Get over it. Move forward from here. This is the real world.” Welcome! It’s tough out there. Wear a helmet.

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